Forget what Hillary Clinton just said or did. Who is she to me? And while I’m grateful for the likes of Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks, Mother Theresa, Madeleine Albright and even Oprah, they’re not responsible for who I am today.

There is only one woman responsible for my success: my mom.

Don’t misunderstand me—I have issues with my mother like you do—but I’m smart enough to realize that what she taught me when I was young has been imprinted in my brain and has positioned me for the success I have today.

My mom taught me that life and dinner don’t require a recipe. She cooked the most complicated meals. But she rarely cooked from a recipe. It was more like watching free-form jazz. She taught me to improvise, add ingredients by taste, to make mistakes. It’s no wonder my media business has grown at breakneck speed; I’m not following someone else’s recipe.

In her 30s, she had nerves of steel as a big hitter on the ladies’ softball team, but it was her post-game that really stood out—holding court, cracking jokes and making friends over pitchers of beer with the opposing team. I saw firsthand that competitiveness and likeability work beautifully together.

When I was in ninth grade, my mom decided she wanted something more than being a mother and a wife. She wanted something for herself. She wanted to start her own business. She conspired with her best friend, Suzy, and they decided to open a gourmet kitchen retail store. But how?

She’d get a loan. It couldn’t be that difficult. We lived in a small town. Both she and my dad had been with the same bank all their lives. I remember this because it was a summer day and I was there. I tagged along out of boredom and for the free Tootsie Pop I wasn’t embarrassed to ask for.

It happened in slow motion. The bank manager was nice enough about it: “Have your husband call me if he has any questions.”

“Why would my husband have questions? It’s my loan.”

“Well, I can’t give you a loan unless he co-signs.”

The air left the room. I looked at my mom. Her face changed. Somebody dropped something. My stomach started to hurt.

She was very cordial: “I see. Can you do me a favor? I’m running errands with my daughter this morning, so I’d appreciate it if you’d quickly pull together all the paperwork I need to close out all my accounts—mine and my husband’s, his business, our mortgage, our credit cards, the car loans, the brokerage account. Every one of them.”

He gave my mom her loan. I was so impressed. I incorporated that day into my DNA.

If I want something, I ask for it. If there is something or someone in my way, I figure out how to get around it. It’s really that simple. It’s not about getting angry. It’s about getting what you want, being competitive as hell, but extremely likeable.

I learned it in the ninth grade from my mom and it was burned into my psyche. You can learn it today.

Where did my mom get it from? Her mother, of course. My grandmother’s a cattle farmer. She still runs the family business in upstate New York. She’s 84.

Want to know why you are who you are? Look no further than the most influential woman in your life—your mom. You should thank her for everything she taught you. While you’re doing that, remember that everything you say and do provides lessons for your own children. You are influential, too. Make sure your influence is positive.

Mel Robbins is a nationally syndicated radio talk show host, CNBC contributor, spokesperson for Microsoft and serial entrepreneur.

Read Mel's weekly SUCCESS blog.