The Experts Up Close
Dan Strutzel is a self-confessed personal-development junkie and has been vice president of publishing at Nightingale-Conant for 17 years. He is the best-selling author of Yes You Can!

Martha Beck is a life coach with a Ph.D. in sociology from Harvard University. She is a columnist for O, Oprah’s magazine, and a best-selling author of several titles, including Finding Your Own North Star.

Mary Byers is a speaker and author of How to Say No and Live to Tell About It, and the more recent, Making Work At Home Work.

Q: I have a frantic schedule. For those days with nonstop appointments, how can I make healthy food choices and not resort to fast food?

Dan Strutzel: Adopt this mindset: To maintain the busy schedule I have and to deliver on all of the results I’m committed to for myself and others, I can’t afford not to eat healthy. I try to reframe the challenge, not as a big sacrifice, but rather as an obvious benefit. If you look at your own personal energy as an asset to your success—every bit as important as your financial or professional-development assets—then you’ll be able to reframe every food choice in terms of whether it’s an energy contributor or an energy drainer.

Q: I often have trouble sleeping when I have a lot on my mind. What are some strategies to clear my mind and get back to sleep?

Mary Byers: Do a “mind dump” before bed by making a list of all the calls you have to return, the appointments you have to make, the deadlines that are approaching, etc. Getting these items out of your mind and onto paper will help ensure you won’t forget them and enable you to more easily turn off your brain for the night. Keep a pen and pad by your bed for the same reason in case you wake in the middle of the night and start thinking again. Also, develop a bedtime ritual that will allow you some “downtime” before you turn in so that your mind is settled before you crawl into bed each night.

Q: Sometimes I have days where my stress level runs high. What are some ways to mitigate stress and feel more relaxed?

Martha Beck: Let your stress spin out of control. Be OK with it. Nothing is ever in your control. This is the big myth. I alone am keeping the plate in the air. We do all of these ridiculous things to try and control what we want. Relax with the fact that you aren’t in control. The illusion of control is in our culture in the United States. You will never be in total control of your life. Relax with the fact that you are out of control. The irony is that once you start to relax then you will be back in control. Every human being wants to be in control—it’s part of our nervous system, but it’s just impossible.

Dan Strutzel: One of my favorite ways for managing my stress level is a lesson I learned from Dr. Ken Blanchard (author of The One Minute Manager) many years ago: Enter my day slowly. I’ve learned that the very best way to reduce my stress level is to get up well before my children do. Since my kids arise around 6:15 a.m., I wake up at 4:45 am. This hour and a half is precious to me! I begin the morning by brewing a pot of gourmet coffee, reading a book or the newspaper, and generally relaxing. Then, at about 5:30 I either go for a run or prepare my schedule for the day. By, 6:15 I’m waking the kids up, feeling fully awake and energetic, ready to take on the day. Contrast this from the way that most people start their day. They hit the snooze three times until they are finally forced to get up (due to oversleeping or to their kids screaming “Mommy!” “Daddy!”), rush through their shower, practice the art of “speed dressing,” grab a muffin and coffee on the run, and back out of their driveway like they’re at the Indy 500. This is no way to live! It’s much too stressful. If getting up an hour and a half early is too much for you, start with a half hour. Just that little extra time will allow your body to awaken slowly, in a quiet house with no immediate time pressure, and make a huge difference in your life.

Q: What are some ways to live more fully in the present and not get distracted with upcoming obligations?

Martha Beck: The single most powerful thing you can do is to focus on your breathing patterns. You cannot take deep relaxed breaths without becoming more present. Brain states and breathing patterns are linked. Yawning is a resetting of the brain. Yawning is your body trying to bring you back to the present. For three breaths, breathe all the way in and all the way out. It will change the entire day. It resets your nervous system. Set your watch to go off on the hour. Reset. The more you do it, the more you remember to do it. It is just three breaths.

Dan Strutzel: I have learned to savor the precious moments, and not get distracted by upcoming obligations by adopting a strategy I call “moment management.” Many great success thinkers have written at length about the importance of time management skills—usually focused on planning for future events. My advice on the application of all of these skills is to follow the advice of a popular ’80s tune by .38 Special and “Hold On Loosely.” Rather than using time management skills to create a rigid structure for your life, where the structure often ends up becoming the idol, use these skills to create a malleable structure that adapts to a given situation.

Experiment with new, flexible ways you can apply the skills of time management, without managing out those precious moments. One of the ways that I recommend you do this is to actually “budget in” large blocks of time devoted to “just being.” For example, how many times have you gone on a business lunch with a key customer or vendor that had no objective? How powerful would it be to schedule in one such lunch a month, or at least a quarter, where you had no “goal” other than exchanging ideas? Or, imagine that you scheduled in one afternoon or evening a week with your children that had no structured activity planned? Where you told your children that this time, you were there to follow whatever agenda they wanted to set? You might, unexpectedly, end up chasing frogs or lightning bugs for an afternoon, and end up with a moment you’ll never forget. And to ensure that you stay rooted in the present during these blocks of time, I recommend you completely shut off your cell phone and/or BlackBerry—“unplug” from any electronic distractions. Yes, paradoxically, good time management actually requires that we plan in time for unplanned results.

Remember, that, when we come to the end of life’s journey, we will look back and recall a kaleidoscope of memories. In many ways, this kaleidoscope will determine the richness and overall satisfaction of our lives. This is why it is so essential to form an “account” of these memories—an account that, just like an investment account, will benefit from compound interest with every passing year. Then, when we reach the age where we are looking back on our lives with even greater frequency, as my grandmother of 92 years often does, we will have a bounty of moments upon which to draw. And observing the smile on my grandmother’s face as she recalls her life experiences, I can confidently make you this guarantee: In life’s final chapter the size of your “investment account” will pale in significance to the size of your “moment account.” So, I suggest you start today, live fully in those present moments and begin to make the deposits that will last a lifetime.

Q: What are some great ways to recharge and get more energy?

Mary Byers: Exercise, even when you don’t feel like it, is a great way to recharge. Sometimes a ten-minute walk is all you need. Also, be sure to plan breaks in your day as well as days off on a regular basis. Energy gets depleted when you work round-the-clock and don’t have time to refresh your mind, body and soul.